=|

Here I am today, as I am everyday, hiding my emotion for the world. Everyone looks in and sees what I want them to, because very few can glimpse past my shadow of lies. I ask myself if it's right, if I should stop, if I should keep on trooping, or if I should just give up.

If there's a god, of perhaps a general overall being of the world that has passed, I feel they are telling me to keep trying, keep pushing, and they empower my ability to have self confidence, and destroy my ability to have self doubt. This is not without consequence, however. The consequence inlying is my feeling. My feeling is on the line, and I am not able to grab it, take it back, and declare it mine again. No, it's hers. She has to take it, or give it back.

I look into the sky, alone, in the dark. I sometimes think, or even hope, that someone is looking back at me. I wonder if, once we die, we all group into a huge ball of existence, and watch as the world we left plays onward. I believe that Heaven is not a place of clouds and angels, but I believe Heaven is the gift we get for leading our lives the way we see fit to lead them. If we choose to smoke, we smoke. Drink, we drink. Hallucinate, we do. Dream, we do. Rape, we do. Kill, we do. Live. We do. The people that exist in the shadow of another, the ones that lead their lives as a reflection of someone else's, I believe, are the ones that do not get the treat to look back down once they fly up. If you live your life the way you want to - dangerously, cautiously, deadly, stupidly - then you will find that the end life is more favorable of you.

For the first time in my life today, I did something I was always told not to do. I was always warned against, spat upon, gloomed up to. I was afraid, not so much of the result, but of the trouble. For the first time in a long time, I enjoyed myself for being who I am, and doing what I feel fit to do. I was not pushed, pulled, shoved.

This is all just a rant - I'm not really sure it has any point.

But I had a good day.

I love you.

I love all of you.

I will always be here for anyone that needs me. Come find me in my corner of the Earth, I'll share it with you, fight for it with you, and live in it with you.

<3

(Triple D. Without which, I would not likely be here today. My soul is bound to yours, yes, soulbound. Let our spirits roam the eternities freely, but always within eachother's grasp.)